Could you be under malaise for your upcoming drug test? Well, that’s common but not a life sentence. In most organizations, drug tests are done to new workers and/or existing ones, with the aim of maintain a drug-free working zone for all the workers and everyone involved.
This can as well turn out to be ennui for most people, but even though that’s the case, you will still have to go through a drug test. There is no short cut to this, following the rules is in your work place is inevitable. For you to maintain the position, you must heed to every regulation otherwise you will reap the fruits.
For an upcoming drug test, all you need is synthetic urine and the monkey dong. The dong helps in case you will go through a supervised test.
The monkey dong comes in since it mimics a real penis, then it would be a perfect chance to fool the lab tech. The dong will enable you pee at ease without being noticed of switching the fake pee from the device to the lab container.
Using synthetic urine is one of the best ways to cheat a drug test, in case you can’t rely on your own pee. Probably you are a rave person and in between the midst, you smoke and consume other unacceptable drugs.
It does not matter whether you are a newbie or a heavy user, drug tests will always catch up with you. In such a case, you will require to come up with an idea to finagle the test. Synthetic urine will always save your day, but remember to have it in the right conditions.
What exactly do I mean? You can’t just administer the fake pee exactly how you purchased it, it need to be in the same temperature as the normal urine. Keeping it warm until your testing time. Most of fake pees come with heating pads to keep the sample warm for up to 8 hours. Well, you are way forward, the next crucial thing the monkey dong!
What is a monkey dong?
A money dong is fake penis from the serious monkey bizness. The brand can be used for different ways, pranks and the ultimate goal; passing a drug test. Here, we are going to focus on how it used during drug tests.
Is the business line, serious monkey bizness new to you? They have manufactured different brands for drug tests purposes, also the monkey whizz kit is an amazing product from them, very reliable.
The serious monkey bizness also manufactures synthetic urine to mimic a real human urine, with an aim of passing a urinalysis. The fake pee has the correct Ph levels, right amount of uric acid, creatinine and other components tested in a drug test for real urine. The smell is of no difference to the real urine and of course that’s all the properties tested during a lab test.
Straight to the point. A fake penis is exactly as what the name reveals. It comes in 6 different colors to fit everyone.
We all have to accept the fact that we have different body complexions, for the love of all and without any racism, hence the need for the different dong colors. With this device, it easy to cheat a drug test in case you are supervised.
Do the technicians really have to look at your penis as you pee? That would probably make you feel out of place. That’s not be the main point, the idea is, will the techs detect that you have a fake penis? He or she should not, and that’s why it’s always perfect when you go for the one matching your skin tone.
What’s in the monkey dong?
The word monkey dong may appear witty, but that’s the right name for it. It comes with 8 pieces in the package. All the components are important and you need each one of them for the process.
- A vial of dehydrated synthetic urine
Basically, this is what you will use as your pee during the test. You need to mix it with 3oz of water. The sample has the right amount of creatinine, uric acid, ph. level also is the same, not forgetting the smell. This will definitely give you a pass when properly done, despite whether you had consumed any drugs the previous night or a couple of days.
- The monkey dong
The prosthetic penis is made of different colors as mentioned earlier. It’s not like the sex toys, for instance dildo, which is meant for penetration purposes, just a light notice. The monkey dong is meant to hold the urine for use during drug testing. It looks so realistic for the process, and would not raise any signs of suspicions.
- A temperature label
Well-known as temperature strip. It is responsible in ensuring the fake urine is in the right temperatures; 90-100 Fahrenheit is the normal range for urine. The technicians are always after the temperature of the urine and if your urine sample is in the wrong temperature, then they will be skeptical that you could have used a fake pee to cheat the test.
- Four temperature heat packs
Further components in the package are the heat packs. They are responsible in maintaining the normal temperature of the fake pee. Generally, they are designed in a way the sample will not over-heat or under-heat. With that in place, the fake pee stays at the required temperature for up to 8hours.
- A syringe
This is to enable you transfer your ready synthetic urine in the strap-on device.
Points to remember
It’s easy to use the dong, but even before gaming in for the test, you can practice at home. Walk around wearing the fake penis, to gain comfortability and confidence.
Also, you can use water and practice on how to disburse it from the device to a cup, with the help of a syringe. That way, you will be knowledgeable, hence avoiding drawbacks on the day of the test.
In the monkey dong package, you get a sample of pee. This has the same formula to real urine and you can use it for your test. You can as well decide to use synthetic urine of your own choice, it should be of high quality for triumph results.
As you submit your sample for testing, it should range at the right temperature. You can decide to use hand warmers to heat it or use the heat packs in the kit.
The monkey synthetic urine has a shelf life of up to a year. Meaning, you can buy several packages and store them for future. But note, once you mix it with the 3oz of water, then you only have 24 hours to use it. After that, it becomes ineffective.
Step by step guide on how to use a monkey dong
Well I have analyzed the steps to follow while using a monkey dong. All of the below is well illustrated in the instructions manual. After the urine sample is ready, all that is remaining is a simple task; following the instructions to the T.
- First and foremost, release the valve from the dong. The valve is externally modified and responsible for safetiness as you use the fake penis.
- Prepare the synthetic urine in a bowl. Mix 3 oz of water with the sample and mix well until all is dissolved. For simpler term, 3oz is 90-100ml of water.
- Transfer the mixed sample from the bowl to the prosthetic penis urine bag. Make use of the syringe to avoid messing up of the sample through spillage.
- Separate the urine bag and the elastic waist belt. For at least an hour before the test, place the urine bag on the side, opposite the temperature strip. The heat packs will keep the sample warm for up to 8hours time.
- Attach the bag to the waist belt and have the belt rapped to your body. Have the urine bag attached to your body, so that the sample may maintain the normal body temperature.
- After around 45 minutes, the temperature strip will be reading the required temperature of 90-100 Fahrenheit.
- Now, you are ready for a test. But before that, double check the temperature that it’s really at the right range. You do this through opening the safety valve.
- Collect the sample of your fake pee in a cup provided through squeezing the tip of the fake penis to have the sample out.
The procedure is a piece of cake! Just take your golden time to do this. Take the advantage of practicing this at home using water to have a clue of how to do it in the testing facility.
Patience is the key. You need to wait for the sample to warm for about 45 minutes. Alternatively, using quick fix urine as your choice, you can first heat it in a microwave in interval of 10 seconds as you continue checking the temperature reading.
That’s a quicker method to avoid the long wait of 45 minutes. After the sample is warmed up, now attach the bag to the waist belt (step 5). Quick fix allows for heating in a microwave unlike the powdered urine.
How good is it?
Before coming up with the idea of sharing information about monkey dong, I did a test to my husband. It was the only way that gave me confidence that this brand is a charm! You may try it yourself before going for the lab test to confirm that.
- It’s reliable.
Considering the use of detox drinks and pills, some are capable of leaving drug traces in the urine and this would really be the beginning of your downfall. Without a proper detox method, detox won’t be much reliable. I’m not saying that they do not work, they do; but a small mistake you mess up everything.
- Has strap- on device with synthetic urine
The monkey dong is reliable, having no room for doubtful thoughts. The material used in making it is nearly to a real penis; it’s not much of plastic. The device is easy to use, just as normal urination that involves holding the penis. Simply, all you need with the dong is to squeeze the tip, and it will dispense the sample.
- The shifting is reliable.
You receive it the same day you place an order, a little delay would be for a few hours. It’s well packed and cheaper compared to other urination products. Consider purchasing it from the manufacture for assurance of getting the original products. Other sellers may have fake products and you will have no one to blame once you fail a test.
- Has a silent valve
Unlike other devices like the whizzinator, monkey dong is different. While squeezing the tip of the monkey dong, there’s no that cracking plastic sound. Indicating that you can easily dispense the sample without anyone noticing of a weird sound.
- It is reusable.
After the test you only need to clean it and reserve it for the next testing. All that will be required is buying a synthetic urine for the next test. It’s not restricted to one person one device, anyone else can still use it, but always ensure that it is well cleaned after use, especially the reservoir and the syringe.
Monkey dong versus the whizzinator
During a Google search, a whizzinator could have popped in the search results. Whether you clicked on it or not, I want to let you know what it entails.
It is basically a recognizable fake urination device. It is a popular device in the market, which includes almost everything found in a dong. The heating pads, synthetic urine, a syringe, and the prosthetic penis itself.
There are ways in which a whizzinator differs with the dong. The whizzinator has flaws, and rarely in a monkey dong.
First and foremost, the colors that comes with the whizzinator are off beam. The moment you come across them, you will be wondering who in place came up with them!
You will be in great shame form a leaking device. Is it imaginable? That’s how a whizzinator is, it leaks! The exposure you get is at its best. Apart from ruining your clothes and leaving you stranded, the fake pee will reduce, thus being at risk of not filling the lab urine cup. The dong is well fitted and does not leak. The urine is well kept until when the need to dispense it comes up.
Leave alone the flaws, the monkey dong is cheaper than the whizzinator. No more words, the monkey dong is the product anyway.
Wait, did we say that the prosthetic penis is for males? Yes! Females as well are not left out, your product is the monkey whizz! Check it out.
FAQs
Q; It’s urgent, can I get the device the same day I order it
Yes, you can get the brand the very same day you place your order. The serious monkey bizness behind the product at all costs avoids any shipping inconveniences.
Q; Is It legal?
Yes. The company manufacturing it markets the product since you can use it for other purposes. For instance you can use it to prank your friends, relatives and family. Others uses includes; animal repellent, scientific uses and urine therapy.
Q; I have an incomplete synthetic urine, can I use it with the Monkey dong?
You can as well use synthetic urine of your choice apart from the one packed with the monkey dong. There’s no limitation to that. As long as your synthetic urine is in the right conditions, the field is yours, be a nice player!
Final Verdict
For you to go through a drug test and pass, synthetic urine and a urinator is all you need. Of course the goal is to pass; meaning, you require the products without a choice. The device is easy to use and reliable. No one can notice you are actually using a fake penis since its silent. Only the normal urine flow sound of `shwaaa’ is that the sound? So chicky.
Buy monkey dong from AUTHORIZED SELLER and rest assured of the original product
Anytime you have a puff, you don’t have to shiver from a forthcoming drug test. You can’t afford to lose your job title, who is not willing to create wealth from jobs and become bourgeois? Be wiser. You have the information you need to pass a test and escape the lengthy detox formulas.
Since monkey dong is reusable, you can decide to replace the urine packed with another synthetic urine. The only game changer brand is the quick fix 6.2 urine. So, monkey dong +quick fix 6.2 is an undefeated combination that no one can elude. That’s a great hamper!